UGH... LIFE

07/09

I’m extremely exhausted tonight. I have worked the last two days in a row and stayed up with my cranky child in between. It’s been miserable! She has been really fussy the past few days. She doesn’t want to nap at all and I have no idea what her deal is. I took her to the doctor on Tuesday because she has been pulling at her ears bad but he told me she had no ear infection at all and she look as healthy as a horse. I think her top two teeth are trying to come in. ever since she has gotten the bottom two, she of course has gnawed on everything she can stick in her mouth but here lately it’s been way worse. She isn’t really interested in her food or bottles either. Anything that I have food wise she basically maws me trying to get it and stick it in her mouth. I know I’m going to miss all this though and so I’m trying not to get frustrated or take any of it for granted. She definitely likes to push me to my limits though and its rough when you’ve had no sleep and that all you want but she wont cooperate. In these moments I put her down walk into my kitchen take a deep breath and just think I can sleep in a few I will make it and she is just a baby. We usually play and when I’m calm so is she. I’m going to probably be a little skimpy on this blog because I am so tires tonight and my baby girl is down for the night and four hours of sleep has ran out!

~Kayla

Bad People

07/08

I love using the writing prompts! I just picked write about seven top things that could happen to bad people. I’m not a very nice person when in comes to people and they crazy crazy things they do! I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel and mean to things that have nothing at all to them. My first would be of course child molesters, I think they should die a very slow painful death as long as they truly deserve it. Child abusers would be the same or have a firing squad or be hung. I’m pretty intolerant of these kinds of people just because I see it every day at my job. I also have a child of my own and couldn’t imagine ever inflicting pain on her on purpose especially when she can’t help herself. I’m her voice and her advocate so people who hurt innocent human beings should also be hurts just as bad repeatedly.  I can be pretty cruel when it comes to things like this but it’s the way I feel and I can’t help that. Rapist should have to rot in prison. I think all of these people should and these horrible things should happen to them when they least expect it. People that do such terrible crimes vary rarely make it through life in prison. My brother has told me lots of stories and the prisoners don’t take kindly to people who do disgusting fowl things to child or anybody for that matter. They’re obviously in prison already so they could care less about what happens while they are there. My brother has called me a couple times and asked me to look people up for him and see why they are in prison with him. I never understood it until he got out one time and told me that these people do get ganged up on daily.

~Kayla

NOPOWER???!!! What?

07/07

Thinking of twelve things to do when there is no power is kind of a hard thing to do. I could read a book, but let’s be honest I really don’t like ready to much! The only time I really read is when I have to. I haven’t ever willingly read a book and the last book I did read was in 2012. You could play a board game but I doubt I have any board games. When we were little my brothers and I would play monopoly and they would always cheat which made it no fun for me! When we were little we use to play outside all the time. That’s something I definitely think kids could use more of instead of the TV and video games. My aunt basically uses those as her babysitters. I’ve never seen anything like it! I try and take my daughter outside as much as possible. It’s understandable if it’s too hot but my aunt has four boys and they’re all over the age of three! Draw a picture or do arts and crafts is another thing that doesn’t require a plug in or a charger! I like to think I’m pretty crafty myself most of the time! I don’t watch a whole lot of TV. I have specific shows I watch but our TV isn’t constantly on all day long when were home. It’s sad that now this day and age its hard to think of stuff that doesn’t require electricity. Its like our lives revolve around it. I don’t know what my aunt would possible do if she didn’t have a TV or Xbox to sit her children in front of while she did whatever it is she does! It drives me crazy because her boys crave for attention from her bad!

~Kayla

A Good Habit

07/06

A good habit that is hard to break would be smoking. Me and my husband both smoke. When I found out I was pregnant I quit cold turkey. He continued to smoke which was fine. We don’t smoke in our house or in ours. One night after I gave birth to my daughter we went out for a drink with some friends. Well I had one two many drinks and decided I needed a cigarette. That was a huge mistake! Since then I have been smoking ever since. Recently, we got a e cigarette and I have been using that. I like it and I have also heard all the studies about it being bad for you but I feel like all that horrible chemicals in the actual cigarette are a lot worse. It’s also worse for our daughter after we’ve smoked to go in with the smell on our clothes and stuff for my daughter to breathe in. I want to stop before we move but the sooner the better for the both of us. I also feel like the e cigarette is helping with me not habit eating which would make me gain back a bunch of the weight I have recently lost, but also it’s saving me money. Last time I quit I was pregnant which didn’t help but I was not a very nice person. I know it’s better in the long run but both me and my husband being hateful is a bad deal in our house! We would on average save over twenty five hundred dollars a year! That is an insane amount of money. We only paid a little over a hundred dollars for our e cigarette and the fluid that goes into the cigarette is twenty dollars and is equal to thirty packs of cigarettes. I feel it is well worth it and this would be an awesome habit to break as soon as possible!

 

~Kayla

Today I Will

07/05

Today I will leave work and drive to my aunts to pick up my daughter. I will then get her and all of her things together and drive back across town to my house. When we get home I will feed her a bottle and change her diaper. We will play for an hour or so then I will feed her some baby food with cereal in it. She is so funny when she eats baby food. She acts like its kind of gagging her and then looks at me like “mom what is this stuff?” then she lets out a big yell and smacks her hands down on the tray. She’s so cute! I love her so much it kind of hurts. After I get her fed again she will take about a two hour nap or so until noonish. Then we will get up and do it all over again. While she is playing I will try and get a little house work down and get something planned and out for dinner tonight. Knowing that she is taken care of and its being done right makes me being exhausted all worth it. Some days its harder than others but in the end I can sleep at night. Someone I know recently went and picked her son up from day care, which might I add this provider was recommended thorough the company she works for. She noticed her infant sons arm was swollen, he was being kind of fussy, and he wouldn’t really use that arm. She then took him to the emergency room to find out her infant sons arm was broke in two different places! The doctors said the only way his arm could have been broke like that was from being stepped on or having something fall/drop on him. This is why I could not even imagine sending my daughter to someone I don’t know from Adam and then being able to sleep not knowing what is going on with my child.

~Kayla

Adoption

07/04

My topic that I have chosen today is adoption. I think adoption is a wonderful thing for a deserving mom or family. I get really upset when I see people who have been trying and trying to have a baby who can or even lose a baby after trying for so long. Then you get the women who have used drugs, smoked, ect. Their whole pregnancy and their babies come out healthy as can be. I was someone who didn’t have the greatest pregnancy. My baby girl stopped growing at twenty eight weeks enutro. If I wasn’t able to have kids I would definitely adopt a child. I feel in some ways the biological mother should not get any say or any rights over the child she is putting up for adoption. I think the child should go to the most deserving not the person you randomly pick out. Most people don’t know that babies who don’t have an adoptive family or parent set in place have to go to a foster home until someone wants them. This is especially tuff to see because I feel like nobody would care about this poor innocent child but us. That baby could die or something terrible and the mother who carried this child for nine months wouldn’t care at all. I’m not saying this is all mothers who decide this is best for their child but some of them could care less. It breaks my heart and I don’t understand who a human being could be so cruel to something so sweet and helpless. It really upsets me when the mother has other kids and she decides she doesn’t want one or any of them anymore. Just the stuff people can become is unreal and unimaginable! If only I could change the world J

~Kayla

Freewriting blog

07/03

I don’t really have a whole lot to talk about today. I work twelve hour night shifts at the hospital then take care of my daughter during the day so we don’t have to pay for child care. I worked last night stayed up with my daughter today and now I’m at work now. I’m pretty miserable sitting here trying to keep myself awake. When I’m tired like this, I get really annoyed by everyone I work with because they’re loud and pretty obnoxious. They keep trying to talk to me while I’m doing this journal and that’s really bugging me. I do not like when I don’t get a specific topic to write about because it’s hard to write about nothing and to not think about this assignment while doing it as Peter instructs us to do. I wish I could be at home right now with my family. I will not go to days until I’ve finished school and gotten my RN. There is to much chaos and politics for me and I graduated high school 4 years ago. I don’t have any plans on going back to that hell hole any time soon. We did however get some really good news on Friday. We have been looking for a bigger house to move into as soon as possible. Last Friday we got the call a house we’ve been looking at and waiting for just became available and we can move in on the thirtieth of July! It’s beautiful. Right now we live in a small two bedroom duplex and this house is three bedroom two bath and twice the size of our house now! Plus, this house is so much nicer. I’ve already started packing some stuff like our decorations and things that we won’t be using or needing in the next month. I’m so ready to get out of that place and be able to spread out and actually have our friends and family over comfortably.


~Kayla